Day 41: Seeking Home

Today I: died of a cold

Despite being sick, the house is nearly there.  The RE agent dropped by, photographers on Wednesday and first open house on Saturday... here we go.

I took the tweens to see Beauty and the Beast and was sobbing by the time we got to the ad for A Dogs Purpose ...

Very dubious about my emotional strength to sit though the whole movie, Marley and Me nearly killed me and don't even start me on Red Dog

I'm useless at dog movies

As my house is about to go on the market, I'm thinking more and more about the move south and the changes ahead.  I've loved Berowra, where I live now, since a trip through it in about 1991.  I'd been working on an Arabian Horse Stud in Arcadia and caught the car ferry across to Berowra to get back home (then mumndad's at East Lindfield), and ended up at the train station, looking at the incredible view across the National Park.  I just decided I'd live here one day.

And so I did.  For 17 years.  In my hilarious shack on Goodwyn Road - with horses living next door - I'd steal their poo for my veggies! (Now four lovely houses stand there) And then in my current home in Berowra Heights.  

I'm going to bid this place farewell very sadly. At this point it hardly seems real.  I've always felt a sense of belonging in this community, and a real pride in the place.

I'm a fan of Cauldrons and Cupcakes, and use Nicole's planner.  The planner involves the use of oracle cards, you choose your card and use its image or message to focus your thoughts.  At the start of the year I pulled the card FOG from my pack over and over.  It was frustrating because I was trying to plan the year, set goals, find direction... and which card was I getting?? Bloody FOG.  FFS.  If there is a card that says cannot see the way forward, that is it.

I eventually took the card out of the pack.  But it still bothered me.

But now my fog card makes sense.  I could not have in any way predicted the tangent my life was going to take.  I thought I had my year planned.  No dramatic changes.  Just ticking along.  

Then one day in late February I saw a job advert, idly had a glance at real estate and there it was, my new home.  Went to have a closer look the next day and made an offer which was accepted mere days later.  

Like me, the house and garden are neglected and overrun.  They are both tired, but are full of promise and have a wonderful solid warm structure that you can sense.  There is so much there that cannot be seen because it is hidden by ugly, invasive weeds, and layers of neglect and overwhelm.   In places the wall is impenetrable, but here and there you can see what used to shine.  It'll just take some work, time and patience to bring it out again.  I know it.