Day 28: Slowing Down & Cyclone Debbie

Today I: Was mostly glued to the telly watching Cyclone Debbie smash northern Queensland, and thought about slowing down and what its going to mean for me...

“What I had been doing was working in a job I didn’t like so I had enough money to pay for a lifestyle I didn’t want. I was shopping for clothes and shoes to make me look like everyone else. I was buying things for my home to make me feel comfortable in a place I didn’t have time to be comfortable in.

I started re-reading Rhonda's book today and this quote jumped out at me.  (You can find Rhonda online at her blog Down to Earth).  I was feeling this exactly, but I couldn't articulate it.  There was no time or energy to even reflect on how I felt.  I was just moving from one day to the next, becoming more tired as each 24 hours passed.  All I knew was that I hurt, my stomach, my bones, my head.  That I was irritable and angry and when I spoke the words didn't sound like me.  That two assaults in the last six months from people close to me had left me shattered and empty and unable to find peace.

I'm improved.  Now.  A bit.   Just the fact I'm writing this blog is a huge hint that I'm finding myself again.  I have the mental space to form thoughts and create with words.  A long way to go though.  A long way.  

In other news, it was a lovely day, here on the northern edge of Sydney.  But, north of here... a thousand kms away... it wasn't so lovely.  I've never seen weather like that in my life, and I'm sincerely glad I don't live in a cyclone zone!  Bloody hell.

Debbie kicked Queensland's butt

Debbie kicked Queensland's butt

Keep safe Queensland xxx